Real life really can be a soap, with you playing the part of the evil and manipulating genius. Here are some pointers for making your boring working life an never-ending and glamorous play, starring yourself:

1. A soap-script contains at least the following ingredients: money, love, adultry, jealousy, power and tragic deaths. In every working environment these elements are omniously present.

2. As the starplayer you know there will be a lot of close-ups, so work on your facial expressions such as: the thoughtful look, the intense look, the sad look, the satisfied look, the bootlicking look, the mysterious look, the horny look and the cunning look.

3. All events revolve along the starplayer, the rest of the cast are only "extra's", serving the sole purpose of supporting your characterplay. They are there for you to spit on, to laugh at, to toy with and to manipulate. Don't hesitate to do so, your audience expects nothing else!

4. For the viewer a genuine soap is all about (Biblical) standards and values and about (Fairy-tale) justice and righteousness. For the players (meaning you), it's all about ratings and commercials. The number one rule in Soap-science says: "The bad guy makes the bucks, the good guy only sucks!"

(Jacco Mokveld)