Compulsive and consistent lying to them about virtually everything requires great creative skills and a healthy imagination:

"I recently had a heart-attack and the doctors told me not to get overstressed again because a fatal attack could strike me at any moment. I'm extremely worried that you, accidently, will cause me another stroke, and therefore I feel responsible and worried about you. Its hard for me to accept that I'm ill and need help. I feel so guilty about this, I know you'll feel guilty too because, in a way, you are killing me with my worrying over you... Oh my God, I'm feeling a bit dizzy, my palms are getting sweathy, I can hardly breath.... hey, where are you going, come back here, help me... help me... aaarghhh!"

Later, in the lunchroom, they'll come up to you and ask:

"Djeez, you scared the hell out of me, how are you feeling?"

You now complete your perfomance by denying the whole thing:

"What do you mean how am I feeling? I really don't know what your talking about. I've never felt better in my entire life (this actually being the thruth)."

(Erik van de Langkruis)